Faith in Real Life

A look into the psyche of one girl's quest for religious tolerance and the true teachings of Christ

Is it a Sin to be Single?

As I was looking around the service on Sunday, sitting with my usual group of twenty-somethings who admittedly were not paying much attention to the announcements, it struck me that at some point we had all paired off. This shouldn’t have taken me as a surprise, our twenty-somethings Bible study is called a “singles group,” but I didn’t expect it to happen so fast. Maybe it’s the fact that I honestly have no idea whether I’m ready for that level of commitment, or simply that I trust God to bring my husband to me, but confronted with this sight of ten delighted pairs surrounding me, I have to ask: is it a sin to be single?

From the creation of Adam and Eve it is obvious that God wants us to have a family (Genesis 2:18). We are made to be in connection to other people, but what does that mean for those of us who are not yet married, or for those who feel that they shouldn’t be? Proverbs 18:1 says that “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” However, I do not think that I am alone. I have fellowship with those at the churches I attend; I have a decent amount of godly friends, but does the single fact that I am not married mean that I am not following in the footsteps of God?

The greatest example of someone who chose to stay single was Paul. Would he have been able to traverse the known world had he been responsible for a wife and children at home?  He completed three missionary journeys, documented in Acts, and likely another from what may be deduced by the epistles. He didn’t have time for a wife and children, whom he would have to provide for and lead. His churches effectively became his wife and his protégés Timothy and Titus became his children. While I can’t compare myself to Paul, I can put faith in allowing God to dictate where I go in my life, and thus who I will marry.

If it is God’s will, He will bring me an amazing husband, but if he decides that I will be of more service to His Kingdom by remaining single, so be it. My faith that His plan is greater than mine is enough to keep me satiated, I just wish I could escape the reality that while everyone else is pairing up, there are an increasing number of eyes upon me and why I have not paired up as well. To this, all I can say is “Jesus is my boyfriend, when I find someone better than He, then what will be will be.” God loved us enough to send His only Son to us; I cannot in good conscience marry someone whom He has not chosen for me.

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2 thoughts on “Is it a Sin to be Single?

  1. The name of this post caught my eye. Is this question meant to be answered? Of course it’s no sin to be single. Just because God said it isn’t good for man to be alone, doesn’t mean He was strictly speaking in a romantic sense. Adam was once the only human alive. Of course that’s not good. We’re relational creatures.

    And check out what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9: “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

    Or verses 34 and 35: “An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world— how she can please her husband.
    I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”

    In fact, you should probably just read all of 1 Corinthians 7. It will put your mind at ease.
    Marriage is a calling. Singleness is a calling. Don’t let our culture pressure you into doing something that God isn’t telling you to do.

    • Mechelle on said:

      It was meant more as an exposition of my desire to stay single. My church really pressures young people to get married young. By the time you’re my age (23) it’s generally assumed that you’ll be married and settled. I chose a different path, and I’m trying to find a way to explain to them that just because I am not married, it does not mean that I am not following Jesus; I believe I am following the path he wants for me.

      Thank you for the verses too! I’ll be sure to read them when I have a chance :)

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