As I was looking around the service on Sunday, sitting with my usual group of twenty-somethings who admittedly were not paying much attention to the announcements, it struck me that at some point we had all paired off. This shouldn’t have taken me as a surprise, our twenty-somethings Bible study is called a “singles group,” but I didn’t expect it to happen so fast. Maybe it’s the fact that I honestly have no idea whether I’m ready for that level of commitment, or simply that I trust God to bring my husband to me, but confronted with this sight of ten delighted pairs surrounding me, I have to ask: is it a sin to be single?
From the creation of Adam and Eve it is obvious that God wants us to have a family (Genesis 2:18). We are made to be in connection to other people, but what does that mean for those of us who are not yet married, or for those who feel that they shouldn’t be? Proverbs 18:1 says that “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” However, I do not think that I am alone. I have fellowship with those at the churches I attend; I have a decent amount of godly friends, but does the single fact that I am not married mean that I am not following in the footsteps of God?
The greatest example of someone who chose to stay single was Paul. Would he have been able to traverse the known world had he been responsible for a wife and children at home? He completed three missionary journeys, documented in Acts, and likely another from what may be deduced by the epistles. He didn’t have time for a wife and children, whom he would have to provide for and lead. His churches effectively became his wife and his protégés Timothy and Titus became his children. While I can’t compare myself to Paul, I can put faith in allowing God to dictate where I go in my life, and thus who I will marry.
If it is God’s will, He will bring me an amazing husband, but if he decides that I will be of more service to His Kingdom by remaining single, so be it. My faith that His plan is greater than mine is enough to keep me satiated, I just wish I could escape the reality that while everyone else is pairing up, there are an increasing number of eyes upon me and why I have not paired up as well. To this, all I can say is “Jesus is my boyfriend, when I find someone better than He, then what will be will be.” God loved us enough to send His only Son to us; I cannot in good conscience marry someone whom He has not chosen for me.